I've been bad this month with keeping up to date, my weight hasn't changed much beside gaining a pound :/

I've been eating alot but purging alot, I'm starting to think I actually like purging. I can feel the effects its having on my teeth and I'm not digging that. I have to learn to stop and just not eat much at all, I have to loose at least 10 pounds before the end of December which I know I can do I just have to put my mind to it. I wasn't able to weigh myself for a couple days but I did this morning and I was 134.2 which I wasn't happy with. Tomorrow's thanksgiving and I can't not eat on this yummy holiday but I know I'll throw up my food so I'm not to worried bout it. After this weekend I plan on fasting for a couple days. I would start right after thanksgiving but this weekend is the UF vs FSU game and I will be tailgating like a mofo and drinking on an empty stomach does not go well with me so I plan on eating a good meal before I start pregaming.

My situation with Sebo hasn't changed much but yet has all in the same, I'm questioning whether I want to even see him right now. He keeps pursing me, like if I want to feel free to send him a pic, or like my other night drunk text on telling him I wanted to fuck him. I don't know I talked with him and his 2 friends that are coming down with him, and his best friend I know is in a relationship. Their girlfriends are sister. But they way they talk is like they plan on cheating on them. I'm not sure how to take it, I don't want to be that other girl. I wont be, but I want him so bad. I plan on confronting him about it, because that makes me wonder if he's willing to cheat on her was it possible one of the only guys I've ever trusted could have cheated on me? If I did anything with him I'd make him end it with her first. I'm pretty sure he wont, I realized something today, when he broke up with me(i pushed him to) it was a month before summer time. I remember that summer I tryed to get back with him but he basically told me that it would never happen, anyways I remember seeing a girl text his phone and when I asked him about it he told me not to worry about it because she was from Ohio. And I'm not 100% positive but I'm pretty sure that is his current girlfriend. I'm starting to think that he had that planned the whole time.

Not that he wanted to break up with me but me pushing him to break up with me was the perfect chance for him to, I'm starting to think he was talking to her for a while, while we were dating. I don't know if I'm thinking to much into it, but that's my defense side coming up. It really put me into a bad mood today, not only that but when I got home I found out that he was spending his thanksgiving with her, so  that means their together right now. I don't understand it though, whenever I try to bring her up(not reallly saying anything about a gf just hinting he completely ignores it) like I asked him what all he was doing for Christmas break he told me the many places he was going and one of them was Ohio, so I played dumb and asked him what was in Ohio and his response was presents.

I can't really be to mad at him if he did cheat on me, because I cheated on him many of time with Conner. But it still pissed me off. I know how the army works with relationships. My step dad was in the army when him and my mom met, alot of couples cheat on each other. And I know boys will be boys and I've thought about well maybe if I get into a relationship would I rather know if he's gonna be with other girls or just not ever hear about it and let him cheat on me. I wouldn't consider it cheating if I okayed it but if I didn't know about it then I would definitely consider it cheating, I just don't know if Im okay with him being with other girls yet. Like I said I don't know, I'm reading to much into it. I know he wont break up with his girlfriend just to be with me, especially since him and his best friend have a little group going with these sisters. But I want to believe that he will, I plan on confronting him on what his intentions will be with me but I'll wait till the end of next week so his girlfriend isn't to fresh on his mind but so I still know where I stand in his life. Anyways Happy Thanksgiving hope everyone has a good day tomorrow.