Blow my brains out.

So me and Sebo just had one of our goodnight video chats. At first I was totally against it regarding my feelings on him being with his girlfriend and stuff this weekend. But it was kinda nice, he still puts me in a good mood. Im at least glad he talked about his girlfriend, and he's the one who actually braught her up. I know he wants me and my friends to stay the night when he's down but he says I scare him, I know that's because I know he wants me.....which makes me happy but sad at the same time. It makes me sad because I want him too(not just for the sex) but Im not going to have sex with him while he has a girlfriend, it's just not right to me. He doesnt want me talking to her which I dont understand why in the first place why he thinks I would want to talk to her. I want him to not be with her but Im not gonna break them up not like that anyways. I want HIM to break up with her! Still to this day he is 1 out of the 2 guys I've ever had feelings for and my feelings for him wont go away, but that doesnt mean Im gonna try going threw  the "trying to break someone up" stage.....tryed the with Conner and it epically failed. Although this is a very different situtation and I probly could split them up Im not going to, I didn't like that person I became when I was younger, so I learned to change and Im not gonna go back to that person I was a year ago. I've learned alot of lesson's in life and that was one of them. He knows Im a wild child I guess that's what scares him but I dont understand out of all the girls he could have come hang out with him why me?.....oh wait I know because he wants me, its like I cant win but I do somehow.

Besides that my weight hasn't been that good, gained a little more than I expected. I weighed myself this morning I was 135.8, I've done pretty good today so Im hoping I'll loose a pound. I would say more than a pound but I was so lazy today. I nearly slept the whole entire day away, so I didn't burn very many calories.

Intake:
Ham and Potato soup.