Happy friday night in!

So its Halloween weekend, and unlike the rest of my friends who are partying I'm staying at home watching scary movies, that 70's show and talking to Sebo. Whatta night huh? I'm pretty beat so I didn't want to go out tonight(plus I wanted to talk to Sebo) but I helped at my church's daycare today and babysit a bunch of six, seven, and eight year old. It actually wasn't that bad I had fun for a free 10 hours shift. Conner's nephews go to that daycare and the older one is so cute, I use to play uno with him whenever we would chill at his moms house, he probly doesn't remember me he was young but now he's eight. Conner was eight when we first met and his nephew is a spitting image of him, it kinda took me into a reminisce mode all day. Anyways it was a nice healthy day outta the house and I think that's what I needed.

So my parents went out and I'm home babysitting some more lol, I dont really mind I adore my little brother and sister and I really can't wait to have children on my own. There asleep and I tryed to get into the Halloween spirit by watching friday the 13th, EPIC fail lol. I got scared with all the lights of and the house this quite. I smoked a little bit, that really helped me enlighten the mood of my depression fase. But now I'm relaxing watching that 70's show, that and being able to talk to Sebo. We talked last night briefly and then tonight he decides to put me in a chat with 2 of his friends. I looked like *^@^#(&@ but he said I couldn't tell him what looks good or not. Their all suppose to come home for christmas and he wants me to come hang out with him, I'm cautioned but I really wanna see him. I can see me having a family with this guy and being so happy, the thing I'm cautioned by is his gf. I dont really know whats going on there we've never talked about it but I wanna know is his intentions now, so I can know what to expect. I wont let him cheat on his gf with me but if something happened to them I would def date him again.

I haven't checked my weight but my throat has been agitated from purging lately, only at night usually. But here comes the weekend so it might get worse. I want to make sure that when Sebo comes down I look smokin effin hot. I want him to want me and see what he gave up. I already know he thinks about me now and then but I want him to want me all the time.

I want some pudding right now, I might try to make some yogurt and fruit. And smoke a cigarette, have a lovely night. Oh and this is a  status that I just love that I thought I'd share.

"This is for the girls who don’t always win. The girls who stay up all night listening to music that inspires them. The girls that laugh, smile, cry and think all on a daily basis. The girls who love, learn and regret. The girls who may never have it easy. The girls who learn the hard way to live and tell about it. The real girls."