Life is kind of funny isn't? Last year this time I was just moving in to Gainesville with my best friend experiencing new things. Now this year I'm by myself trying to put an impossible book self together lol. My new years wasn't anything to exciting....besides eating way to much food. I spent it with daddy who got overly protective. I couldn't help but be sad these past few days though. I had planned so much for us. I planned on going on a cruise together. Actually sold the tickets I bought for us. But yesterday I couldn't help but shed a few tears. Honestly I was sad and hurt. I guess I thought about all the fun we could have had on the cruise but life goes on right. Life goes on until you end up at your house alone then you think about everything. The past few nights I've been having weird dreams about you. Usually their sexually but I figured that was because I haven't had sex in almost a month and of course I'm attracted to you so I imagine you and your big forehead, your greenish blue eyes that I love so much, your laugh and sweet smile..sometimes it really sucks though....having you in my dreams then waking up to reality and not having you around it kinda messes with my head. I wish I could just forget everything. Sometimes I just wish you were real, a real person with a real heart. Someone who actually cares about people more than himself. Its weird  that your girlfriend always talks to me. Today she came into my work with her son and talked to me for about 15 min. I thought it was weird and all honestly I didn't want her there but I'm trying to be nice. I'm trying to be civil because if you want to be with her......if she really makes you happier then what i could have given you then I'm happy for you. Even though you have destroyed me and hurt me I only wish you the very best in life. I'm so tired right now I have to go to bed. have a good night my little anas