I've missed you.

I feel like I've abandoned my blog lately. I just really have a lot going on right now, I've been going out with my friends every night.....drinking.....and molly's but this past weekend I had a blast. But I need to stay focused on school. I got a job it's not exactly what I want BUT like I told my best friend it's somewhere to start getting on my feet again. I can always find a waitressing job. I just have to be patient.

I feel upset and lonely though, oh and not to mention ugly. I seriously love my best friends right now but being in a house with them and going out I find myself to be the ugly dumpling. They both have guys, and always have guys chasing them and I feel fat and ugly. But honestly it's not like I weigh that much more than either one of them, my best friends pants are actually baggie on my but she distributes her weight so much better than my body does. She has a nice ass and decent legs but she has no back fat and a flat stomach where I'm the opposite I have no ass at all, and a terrible stomach and love handles, and back fat. I have to wear glasses and I have a wider body frame. I just hate it. It's not fair at all. This is why I need to loose the weight. It's so distracting living with 4 girls though. It's not like I've been eating horribly or binging at all but I've been lazy and not keeping track of my eating and not exercising. I'm kinda happy though I walked almost 4 miles to my job though. I ate pretty decent not the best but not the worst and walking hopefully helped. I hate not knowing how much a weigh though. I weigh myself everyday and now I can't. I don't think I've really gained or lost(judging by my pants)

I want to feel pretty again, so that means running more often, keeping up with my body and getting rid of my glasses. I have to have specially made contacts now thanks to a really bad eye infection I got a year ago and they cost a pretty penny so I haven't had the money to get them but I plan on getting them asap.

I need to get some sleep asap, got school pretty early but I plan on finishing my post after work tomorrow and catching up on every ones blogss until then goodnight :)